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Music reels in my ears at most times

Sadness wheels its way into my eyes

The tears seem to be held back

By an unknown force that still drives me

 

The darkness of every dimly lit street

The dirt filled gloomy passages

The hollowness of the night

Poison me slowly as I wander about taking it all in

 

Shining beacons of hope glide away

Even before I catch a glimpse they’re gone astray

Trapped in a worm hole I’m dying to get out of

To reach out and hold on to anything

 

Wisdom comes with age, they say

I feel I’m moving backwards in time

Every action becomes a negation

Every smile is filled with the fear of cynicism

 

Joy eludes me, sadness concludes me

I’m in a room full of people

Some faces I recognize, some are unknown

Still, loneliness is my only best friend

 

Its time to walk away

When your gaze filled eyes

Can no longer look straight

Its time to go home its time to go home

Of an unknown melody that reeks of sadness and bad news. The flop number with no fan following reels and plays on my mind and I hum it, relishing on those memories of our stupendous times.

Somehow the line “you will walk the underworld deaf and dumb and blind, and the dead will look up on you and laugh, here comes the fool…” seems so apt for the mood. I feel like the dead, I feel like I don’t need to smile, I feel like screaming and crying, but what’s the point in crying, what’s the point wallowing in your own self pity.

Whenever your memories take me in, whenever I’m lost again, craving that angelic touch, when ever I need to reimburse my soul, I’ll come over, come over to yours and reminiscence the sights of your warmth, your sugar candy taste, I’ll taste your sweetness and go back to be being dead.

This sweetness however I wish should be relished completely; I guess I’m going to have to live with just memories.  

Yet another old one, too forced and funny….

 

Drink, push, throw, love, hate, move, shiver, break…

Scorned memories of dead, reeking, smelly rats. I’ve been walking down those gray roads filled with sunken memories. Scars on my knees from those, more than often falls. Dead dry leaves blow over my face. The sand; black and hurtful discourages me from walking barefoot. The sky broken and blackened with thick monsoon clouds; sends shivers down my spine. The backlash from the acid rain; burns my naked back in spots, minute holes with rotting flesh, more scars for the future.

My jeans have blue bottles stuck and sucking around the torn edges, my soles red and swollen. The tide seems so far away from the shore, I’d have to walk a mile to reach some sea water, water that’s so acidic; I’d burn and die instead of feel refreshed. My dying brain cells,  still decay faster than they should. The lack of oxygen to my brain from my panting, tired heart makes my head work slower than it can. I have no where to go and still I walk on. What difference will it make if I stay or leave? None to me or anyone for that matter. If sudden death could only be bought from the local market, I’d sell myself for a penny. If sudden death were to befriend me, I’d give it all up for one shot. Hold me, thrill me, please strangle me…